Day 40- Once More, with Feeling

Day 40, I feel like we got here pretty quickly.  Wasn't it just day 30 like yesterday.  All the days blend together now.  Day 40 was a bit of a roller coaster day.

One of the things I've very much enjoying about the quarantine lifestyle is that I can be more flexible with my work times.  Tuesday was supposed to be rainy but then we woke up and it looked like there was a window of some sunny weather.  Since we weren't able to go for a run on Monday we decided to squeeze in a lunchtime run on Tuesday. 

Sometimes when I run I just know it's going to end with a good time.  Tuesday was one of those days.  I had slept really well the night before.  The weather was perfect for running.  There was a little added incentive to beat the doom clouds we could see in the distance.  It all added up to a personal record!  I've never run so fast before, and look at the last mile split time!  It felt great to accomplish something like this.

When I got back from the run my phone was blowing up with text messages informing me that schools were closed for the rest of the year in Massachusetts.  A lot of my teaching friends were really emotional about this.  Maybe because I couldn't imagine how it would be safe to go back, I wasn't really emotional about this news.  I was rather relieved because for the last week or so, being in this weird limbo where it seemed inevitable that schools would remain closed but no formal declaration, was taxing. 

With this sense of relief, came a wave of what I can only describe as heaviness for a different reason.  It's becoming really apparent that "normal" isn't coming back anytime soon.  I knew this but it seemed realer yesterday.  Maybe it was the combination of yesterday's grocery shopping debacle and this school news but there was a weight in the air yesterday and it was hard to shake.  I remember talking to my cousin who lives in Seattle back in early March.  She was telling me about the lines at grocery stores and the empty shelves and you could hear all the feelings in just a few text messages and I feel like we are at that point now.  And then there were these these updates from the CDC and the president of UConn and everything felt like it was closing in on us.

I'm going to continue to try to focus on the positives and how lucky I am to have this opportunity to slow down and I'm going to allow myself to feel the heaviness and be ok with that when it comes because any feelings are valid and ok.

After dinner, JO suggested we go for a walk.  The crazy rain had ended and there was a bit of a sunset. He had actually forgotten that we had already gone for a run today and wanted to get fresh air.  We walked around our neighborhood.  It is so strange to see it so empty, so still, so quiet.  I miss the carefree ways of a few months ago.  We ended up standing in the parking lot across the street from us, eating peanut butter cups, because of all the feelings.  Yes, I will remember Day 40 because I ran the fastest I've ever run and because I stood in a parking lot eating peanut cups, missing my neighborhood. 

We finished the night by watching another Hitchcock movie and enjoying another Southside. 

I love this picture of Denali!

And in today's "Sad About America" segment:

And my city has started deploying sound trucks to remind people of the rules.  I'm sure this is partly because our certain politicians are sending such mixed messages about everything!