Day 48- I Miss My City

Day 48 was one of those days, pre virus, that I would have texted JO at lunch and informed him that I needed an emergency city date.  It was one of those days when life blindsides you a bit.  The kind of day that catches you off guard. 

On days like those, the city is my respite.  I go somewhere in the city, a favorite restaurant or bar, a favorite park, a favorite walking route and I let the city wash over me and fill me up with peacefulness.  It takes my mind off of things and helps me rebalance.  (Once, right after my mom died, I tried this and the city felt so overwhelming, I actually was worried I'd lost my ability to be in the city.  Thankfully, that went away on my next visit to Harvard Square.)

My emotions were getting the best of me and all I wanted to do was go out in the city.  Since that wasn't possible I asked JO if he would take me on a drive.  We did a nice lap down Memorial, over the bridge, down Boylston, around the park, and back up Newbury Street and then over to Fenway.  It was so nice to see the city and so weird to see it so empty and hear it so quiet.  Cities aren't supposed to be this way.  They are supposed to be full of people, emotions, noises, etc.  It's supposed to be this beautiful symphony of all the good noises and all the bad noises all balanced together.  It's supposed to be this elaborate dance of people moving past one another in this oddly choreographed dance down the streets. 

In some ways, the drive made me miss the city more but in lots of ways, it was just what my heart needed.  It also made me realize that the old normal isn't coming back and that's bringing it's own set of emotions with it...but those are for another day.